Even on weekends!

So I guess I'll give you a run down of my day so far. 

I woke up,  and hadn't slept well last night. A lot of the time I sleep for two hours then wake up and need to do things to calm my mind. That can take thirty minutes or like last night  four hours (finally my good friend melatonin took care of my problems, and I'll address that more later on) . Oh and I got that old man thing where sleeping in is like 8:30, and that never happens unless I'm up till 5 a like this morning.

So I get these irregular heart beat issues that are scary to say the least,  have had it as long as I can recall,  since I was little. I always thought it was a heart murmur,  and that as I was getting older it was getting worse and that physical issue was exacerbating the issues I have with my anxiety.  Well my cousin Marie have me a little pep talk about taking my med and not worrying about them nor what people might think.  So this past week I've stayed taking my Xanax (my little white pills chuck full of hope and happy places) and they are prescribed at .25mg 3 x a day as needed.  Up until last week I was taking them when things were already out of hand.  This past week I stayed to take them all,  all 3 with my diabetic meds first thing in the morning and rather than having issues over and over again during the days I had only one issue that lasted about 1 minute and that was it.  So it's in my head,  but I'm still going to follow up with VA Cardiovascular  to make sure but come on,  what do you think.  So on one side of the coin I'm most likely not having heart issues,  but on the other hand I most certainly am rubbing around with more than one sandwich short of a picnic.  I'll take the mess over fitting just to get out of the house any day.  So that's my day so far,  not great not bad but trying to get out to the junk yard and see what I can start to come up with for a plan with my car.  Oh yeah,  my clutch blew out on Friday and I get to have that stress added there is no real mass transit in Richmond that can get me from home to work.  I know what needs to be done but not sure if I can get it all done by in gonna see what my options are.  My roommate had offered to help out with what he can but then that's more stress of letting him down if I can pay him back on time lol this anxiety will do what ever it takes to make you a prisoner in your own live.  I wonder how many homeless people are out there that have had a downward spiral in love that may got out of hand and then when you hit that bottom there is nothing you can do. To far down to climb or and to feel to see the hands racing in for you. 

Btw: I'm just writing as I think and will clean things up as I go along so be kind :-)